E káasan,

That’s the greetings of a Yoruba person, which means ‘Good afternoon’. It has been some weeks since I last came this way, but it is all for good! The tap is still gushing, but the demand of this time makes it seem like it is seizing from my end. I am sure the yuletide wind is blowing all around you; whether it’s a White Christmas or a Hazy Christmas, may we all do it in good health.

There is a Yorùbá proverb, ‘ti obinrin o ba dan ile oko meji wo; ko ni mo eyi to san’ which means, if a woman never attempts two matrimonial homes, she will not know the most pleasant of both homes. We would want to consider this saying in the light of the first husband and subsequent husbands. However, this applies to all areas of life, including our careers.

The first husband is usually the stage of exposition, from being naïve. The first husband has a lot of roles to play in one’s life as it determines how wild and insatiable one would be in later years. The experience also determines if the person will want to hang on or find an exit route out of the union. For example, if the first company one works with pays well, offers generous allowances, and encourages growth, many people would not bother to seek employment elsewhere until the statutory retirement age.

Subsequent husbands, from the second husband upward, are usually tasked on many fronts, especially when there was a very damaging experience in the first union. This could have damaged the person’s ability to trust and stay loyal. As such, the husband strives to convince the court beyond a reasonable doubt that he can care for and support the person. Unfortunately, the person entering the union would be very sceptical and would have developed a cantankerous, violent, or defensive mindset.

In all, some people will never go beyond the first marriage; some will prefer the second marriage; some will appreciate the first marriage while in the second; and some will regret both marriages.

I would plead with everyone, wherever you find yourself, please be the best so that we can create valuable experiences for others, not marred ones. For those who are yet to make a choice, kindly examine your choice, if it will lead you to the Promised Land or be an impediment to your progress.

Have a great weekend ahead.

Cheers!

Olutayo